When I

I was unaware
When he entered the scene
Of how much this Boy would really mean

I felt strong
When I offered solace
And able to be successful guiding the lost

I was open
When I offered my philosophy
To giving opinions and heartfelt honesty

I felt a twinge
When he told me I was Awesome
And my heart patter, herewith normally mum

I tried to avert
When the wall was discussed
But He was hell bent; He was non-plussed

I became nervous
When it was time to meet
My altered-state was definitely complete

I was told
When the next sun rose bleak
That He’d be back in just one short week

I thought I knew
When I read these signs
Our head and hearts were conjointly-aligned

I found it hard to breath
When the second visit came
We had comfort, laughs and played some games

I felt uncertain
When the days continued
Poor body language and Miscommunication ensued

I was clear
When forced words came to a head
That this romance party was clearly dead

I took it in stride
When friendship was the option
Embraced future days of games and more fun

I tried to pull him back
When he began to pull away
But, He was distant; He had nothing to say

I was surprised by the tone
When lines of communication were open
The curt response and a sentence of pure rejection

I found it painful
When I began to forge forward
That those people whose solace I look toward

No longer I could count on;
Not She or He;
Just Me.